The Active Corpse: By Vivian Britton
The Active Corpse
Death is But the Start of Your Rotten ExistenceWhat happens after death, you ask? Quite simply, a process of vile physiological changes ensue after a man is finished polluting the ether with his very presence; some of which are so unspeakably horrific even the Enlightened Misanthrope dare not mention them in mixed company.
One might even refer to such discussion as the "last taboo." And I had such fond memories of flatulence holding this esteemed title.
Nowadays, the subject of gaseous anomalies and their lingering odors are all but passe on television and other forms of guttural bombardment.
But I digress already. I think the English alchemist and magician, Aleister Crowley summed up man's fate quite nicely with the following truism:
Man is a perishable parasite, bred of the earth's crust, crawling irritably upon it for a span, and at last returning to the dirt from whence he sprang.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and all that warm and fuzzy stuff never fail to peak my morbid curiosity in all things, well, morbid. Oh, did I mention I don't discuss the vile details of decomposition in mixed company?
I lied.
Since some brave reader had the nerve to ask me where I stand on "life after death," I may as well honor him with a detailed answer. And you, gentle reader, are the beneficiary. But I warn you, I'm no more a forensic scientist than Bush is a "conservative" president. My only credentials are a macabre fascination with dead things and a keen interest in the process of human decomposition. The following is not for the faint of heart, so leave now if easily disturbed at nature's natural process of decay. If you decide to stay, I will not be held responsible for the resulting puke-fest.
So then boys and girls, let's get into it (or six feet under it), shall we? You may be appalled to learn how ghoulishly active the human body remains after physical death. When the heart stops beating and the lungs stop breathing, the cells are deprived of oxygen. Thus commences a gruesome chain of events, beginning with a gradual cellular death that starts in the brain and ends with the skin. Apparently, brain cells will start dying if deprived of oxygen for three minutes, but skin and bone cells can stay alive for several days. This is why you'll see - if you're lucky - the nails continue to grow on a "stiff" some time after death.
Rigor Mortis, which is a stiffening of the muscles, sets in after three hours and can linger up to 72 hours after death, or, until the muscle proteins begin to decompose. Now it's time to raise your hand and ask me, "But what causes Rigor Mortis? Please tell me in excruciating detail!" Oh, you say you're not actually interested? Too bad; I'm going to tell you anyway.
At death, the corpse relaxes completely into a state known as primary flaccidity. But after a few hours, changes in muscle energy containers (ATP-ADP) shift into that dreadful condition otherwise known as Rigor Mortis. Exact onset can depend on a number of factors, including the person's age, musculature, gender, and so forth. A child, for example, may not exhibit any discernable signs of this condition. It is ventured this has something to do with their smaller muscle mass. I happen to think it's because children are not real people to begin with, so why should they decompose as such? Dogs certainly don't seem to think they're human. They perceive these little horrible little nuisances as animals, and treat them and eat them (if given half a chance) accordingly.
But even certain adults lack the stiff qualities we all associate with dead people. In some cultures these limber dead are said to possess superhuman powers. I wonder what becomes of the limber dead? Are they worshiped, or left to rot like the common cadaver?
Rigor Mortis onset and duration is also dependent on ambient air temperature, so try not to die someplace hot, for godsake. All muscles are affected, beginning with the eyelids, jaw, and neck. The condition then moves on to other muscles tissue, including those of the heart.
After the body has been in this stiffened state for anywhere from one to two days, the muscles once again relax into a second sort of flaccidity, and the corpse begins to cool to a state known as, Algor Mortis. Uhh, is that how Al Gore's parents came up with his infernal name? That would certainly explain his stiff demeanor. Anyway, if the body is not embalmed at this point, a very, very stinky process known as putrefaction sets in, and you probably don't want to be around when this happens. That is, unless you happen to be the stiff in question. There's nothing quite as vile as a rotting human. Still, for the sake of education and the betterment of society, I will elaborate on its grislier details.
Your first sign that a corpse is beginning to putrefy is the appearance of a ghastly green hue on the lower right abdomen. This hideous discoloration then spreads over the remainder of the abdomen before moving on to the chest and thighs. Green skin accompanied by foul odors is a pretty good signed that someone has passed on, moved on, shipped out, bit the bullet, bit the dust, signed off, kicked the bucket - well, you get the drift. In this case, the drift is a rank mixture of sulphur-ridden stomach gases and the breakdown of red blood cells. Now, if they can send a man to the moon, why can't they bottle this lovely stench? What a lovely elixir it would make.
This gaseous concoction is not only responsible for the unmistakable putrid marker that says, "smells like something died," but the bloating of the corpse as it turns from ghastly green, to putrid purple, and finally, the bleakest of blacks. Witness also, protrusion of the intestines through the anal and vaginal orifices. If that visual wasn't gruesome enough, bloodstained fluid spews forth in copious quantities from said orifices, as well as the eyes, nose, ears, and mouth. Oh my!
After about a week of this activity, the skin begins to form large, bloody blisters as the skin loosens and gradually slips away in what is lovingly referred to as, skin slip. And the stink isn't over yet. Far from it. The internal organs haven't yet had their say in this ghastly spectacle, and they too produce rank odors as their swollen state causes them to rupture and leak. After a few weeks, the nails, teeth, and hair loosen.
And here's a curious fact: The corpse' respective prostate and uterus can stay intact up to a year. Could it be some of us carry on the infernal need to procreate even beyond the grave? It's certainly no wonder embalming, cremation, mummification and the like have such a strong tradition in most cultures, as there is truly nothing nastier than the unsupervised cadaver who, if left to his own devices, will fornicate indiscriminately.
Now then, boys and girls. I hope we've all learned something today. Tune in next time, when we'll discuss the glorious host of fauna and parasitic creatures that enjoy feeding on human cadavers. They include an entourage of bacteria, flies, beetles, moths, and my personal favorite: the maggot.